girls accidently go into the boys bathroom (open)

[Chloe]

Haku stood by the door waiting for a victim. Oh my god; this would be so fun. Just then, a girl was about to go to the girls bathroom.
"Hey the girls restroom is closed, you gotta use the boys." I said with my poker face.
"ohh..." she said and went in the boys.
"Haha..." I said.

(first to post in this!) xD
(i hope this is an improvement of first version.)

[Megurine Luki]

I'm gonna have to get after you for this. -total grammar Nazi-
'Haku' should be capitalized, 'victim' is spelt wrong. 'This' should be capitalized. 'Soon' should be capitalized. With every new person speaking, it should be the start of a new paragraph. There should be no space between the quotation mark and the 'h' in 'hey'. 'I' should be capitalized. 'O' in 'Oh' should be capitalized. And 'LOL' is not an appropriate word to use in a role play. Describing the character laughing would work alot better.
I recommend you use spell check for future refrences, the mistakes in your post make it hard to understand and difficult to read.

[Chloe]

( sorry i didnt have my lights on and i have bad eyesight couldnt see those errors)

[dzetsu]

So you type in the dark? Like a boss, man. My screen lights up so I can click and read stuff.

[lyme]

I don't even look when I type, dude. I'm more boss. Or you mean that you can't read the words on the screen?

[dzetsu]

I don't look either, but she said she couldn't see the errors, meaning she's blindly clicking and luckily hitting the new thread button and stuff. I say that's pretty damn boss.

[lyme]

(Haku, you just earned yourself a fan. )

[Chloe]

(alright... gigity)

[lyme]

Yuki ran to the bathroom. She trip and flipped in a bad position. Like, on her head. She died from a broken neck. The poor girl died after bleeding out.

The ambulance arrived, but too late. The end.